About an hour ago I suffered severe electric shock. I was unplugging some halogen light thing and WHAM; hit me like drunken step Father slaps his red headed son. Naturally, I was "shocked" that electricity was uninvitedly rarin' throughout my entire body. I cried out. "Ahh I've bein' shocked!" I managed to release the base and collapsed on the ground (unsure if the collapse was caused by the electricity or my natural melo-dramatic nature). My throat had a lump, my hand killed - most notably my left index finger was burned to a crisp, my lung capacity had diminished, and my untimely demise felt imminent. Surprisingly, I stood up and ran upstairs to look in a mirror; basically checking for any disfigurement to my superior exterior. The answer is no; however, I still knocked on death's door and perhaps he was too busy picking up Iraqis and Darfur peeps to fly all the way to Canada for me. Or perhaps he was on his way. My body tingled; I am still tingling! I feel a current running through my body. I must release this current somehow! If this current catches my heart off guard then fibrillation will occur, which ultimately would be my death.
I seeked advice from my colleague in the science community and he believes I'm still in a precarious state. He's unreliable though, thus I checked the most respected site on the web - Wikipedia. They mentioned the amount of bolts required to cause a fatality. They had like five categories. I appear to be in category 3; CATEGORY 4 IS DEATH. Which leads to an intriguing question: What is category 5? Well, that, my daffy little readers, is the shock paramedics give to those needing a beat (the heart kind; not the red headed step child kind). NO TIME FOR SUCH TRIVIAL FACTS. The point is this: I may awake from my sleep suffering convulsions and spitting blood. Let's hope not.
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1 comment:
i need another hit of that blog!
tasty!
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