"Loney, Expletive Dears" - Bryan, after colliding with a parked vehicle.

On Friday I had a Chiropractic appointment in Stouville. Per usual, I drove there. There was a sweet spot available with my name on it. This spot was located on the side of the road outside of the Doc's office. I pulled into my spot adroitly, yet vigilantly because I'm a considerate person and would never desire to inconvenience another person or myself with an unnecessary collision. Actually, if we're honest with one another for a second, I'm not really the deft parker I proclaim to be; I actually suck, which is why I always proceed with caution. Anywhoers, I complete my parking and push the break...except it's not the break; I hit the accelerator! I ram the Toyota in front of me like a lion tackling a zebra. "Loney, expletive, dears!"
I try to remain calm, but who really may remain calm in a calamity! Tentatively, I exit my car and survey the damage on the Toyota's rear. It's not soooo bad. A scratch here and there, chipped paint, and maybe a small dent. I return to my car wondering what I should do. Obviously, I wasn't going to flee the crime scene and have a warrant come out for my arrest. I have no interest in becoming a jailbird. So I wait. A few minutes later, a man (of ethnicity, but not that that matters) exits a store and hops in his Toyota. I knock on his window and inform him of the accident. His survey of the damage is much more severe than mine. He acts melodramatic, "oh no! Me car... what do I do... that's thousands of dollar..." No waaay there's thousands of dollars in damages you daff. Clearly, this is a fallible person in need of some elucidation. But, of course I don't say too much. I write out my insurance/driver's license information and apologize for harming his automobile. He seems understanding and such.
It's now a few days after the crash and he's yet to file a claim. Hopefully he won't. If so, well, that's just not a favourable situation.
After this episode, I went to my appointment and returned to my mint car and drove home; sullen and dour, obviously. Also, I'm still unemployed, which is reason enough for brooding.

Indie Hipsters are the New-Wave Intellectuals

To live is to listen; to listen is to live. Music is of death-like importance to me. It lifts me from my disturbed and confusing existence to a heaven-like place where I'm incessantly happy and eating carrots dipped in chocolate pudding. I enjoy music from various sources/genres; however, my tastes do not extend into the musical realms of straight-up mainstream pop, where singers are marketed for an audience of suckers - no flavor of the month "music" blasphemies like American Idol and other such travesties that plague and profane our already polluted and distorted western music scene. You gotta sift through that nonsense and get to the very core of music - the underground indie hipster scene. What is this, you ask? I'll use an example of a real living hipster - Mehran The Persian.
Mehran describes himself as ostentatious, belligerent and bad ass. Essentially, he's Tristan Tzara meets Pete Doherty. Let's analyze further into this mysterious character-type. He prefers his jeans on the tight side; not gay tight; indie hipster tight. His sweaters are stripped, he sports a beard, wears glasses, has slip-on checkered shoes and acts pretentious and speaks condescendingly towards people who he labels "philistines." He sifts through old record scores looking for underground records, which only he would know of - this is what he prides himself on. He seeks hidden magnum opuses, and refuses to give ear to anything he considers "minor Dickens" (weak works that fail to connect with his developed musical tastes). Simply put, Mehran is an elitist. He doesn't need your love, nor does he want it. Mehran is a new-wave snooty intellectual who listens to shoegazing/new rave/progressive rock while beating out his twenty page paper on the anatomy of a human entity. More than likely, this specific entity is an empty vessel of knowledge; an unfeeling robot who couldn't discover a proper beat if he wore headphones the size of a Cadillac. How do I know this? Mehran is in a league of his own. His opinion is the opinion. Everyone else is foolish and dumb as some green peace, tree hugging, gay worshipping, left-winged liberal. He may be a pompous prick but he's smarter than you so shut up and let him educate you.
From this description, you may be turned off from the underground indie hipster scene, and that's probably why you'll never amount to anything; you're too pansy to venture outside the mainstream. But the real world is outside the mainstream. You must find your own off-chute of mainstream society and run like hell with it. Otherwise you'll be normal and found forever. Striving for normalcy and a place in western society will grant you temporary happiness but it will murder your soul. You'll be a fake, a phony, putting on a facade for your friends and family.
What can you do to prevent this fate? Listen to Loney, Dear or Peter Bjorn and John and feel the beats and let the music into you. This may sound somewhat New Age but I assure you it's not. I'm a staunch Christian who just despises this fake society cut for Christians or "good people." I'm sick of this, "OH, I'M A CHRISTIAN, SO I MUST BE A CONSERVATIVE. I MUST FOLLOW BLINDLY BECAUSE MY LEADER IS CHRISTIAN, AND MY COUNTRY IS A CHRISTIAN NATION." Shut up, you know nothing. Neither do I. But Mehran does, so ask him for an explanation of my convoluted blog. Actually he'll probably just stare blankly at you and pray for your soul.