"Loney, Expletive Dears" - Bryan, after colliding with a parked vehicle.

On Friday I had a Chiropractic appointment in Stouville. Per usual, I drove there. There was a sweet spot available with my name on it. This spot was located on the side of the road outside of the Doc's office. I pulled into my spot adroitly, yet vigilantly because I'm a considerate person and would never desire to inconvenience another person or myself with an unnecessary collision. Actually, if we're honest with one another for a second, I'm not really the deft parker I proclaim to be; I actually suck, which is why I always proceed with caution. Anywhoers, I complete my parking and push the break...except it's not the break; I hit the accelerator! I ram the Toyota in front of me like a lion tackling a zebra. "Loney, expletive, dears!"
I try to remain calm, but who really may remain calm in a calamity! Tentatively, I exit my car and survey the damage on the Toyota's rear. It's not soooo bad. A scratch here and there, chipped paint, and maybe a small dent. I return to my car wondering what I should do. Obviously, I wasn't going to flee the crime scene and have a warrant come out for my arrest. I have no interest in becoming a jailbird. So I wait. A few minutes later, a man (of ethnicity, but not that that matters) exits a store and hops in his Toyota. I knock on his window and inform him of the accident. His survey of the damage is much more severe than mine. He acts melodramatic, "oh no! Me car... what do I do... that's thousands of dollar..." No waaay there's thousands of dollars in damages you daff. Clearly, this is a fallible person in need of some elucidation. But, of course I don't say too much. I write out my insurance/driver's license information and apologize for harming his automobile. He seems understanding and such.
It's now a few days after the crash and he's yet to file a claim. Hopefully he won't. If so, well, that's just not a favourable situation.
After this episode, I went to my appointment and returned to my mint car and drove home; sullen and dour, obviously. Also, I'm still unemployed, which is reason enough for brooding.

Spinal Seminar

My brand spanking new chiropractor suggested I attended a spinal seminar. I reluctantly agreed (I was only hesitant because the Ottawa/Buffalo collision occurring on CBC). Never-the-less some things are more critical than hockey - notably, my spine. Anywhoers, I barge into the clinic late (not late, late - classy late), and sit-down next to a 70 year old vessel of death. I quickly scan the room, and to my dismay, the average birth date was probably circa 1930 - long before the United States government rejoiced when Pearl Harbour was bombarded by over-eager Japs. So sorry, forgive the brief digression - the point is: I'm a youngling in a room full of almost dead people. The chiropractor is speaking but I cannot focus! This woman ahead of me has a classic case of tacky old person. Her hair is dyed red with matching earrings, her glasses are red and about the size of a Cadillac, and she "hmms" and "oooh" whenever the Doc makes a point. She also annoyingly whispers to his husband. I contemplate smashing my chair over her head, but this seems a tad extreme. Instead, I choose to ignore her... for now. When the revolution comes, she will be a baby-maker.
Anywhoers this Doc gives a particularly strong illusion of being educated. In fact, he may actually be. He elucidates on various spinal issues and enlightens my "minor work" brain with some chiropractic propaganda. In fact, this particular propaganda may actually have a modicum of truth. The spine is central to body and sends signals from the brain to the Central Nervous System. In turn, this affects every area of your body. And if your spine is deviated, the signals may not properly travel down the spine and your essential body parts begin to malfunction. You may not even realize your suffering from a major malfunction because you only feel 10% of what your nerves indicate (by causing you) pain. So, if you're in pain, like myself, then you're frigged as Steve Harris would say; however, this Doc has a 25 year history of aiding people such as myself, so I may actually be blessed with some healing, other than "frigged".
After a longevity of lecturing on spinal care, Doc began bashing the Canadian healthcare system. He gave some intriguing facts and statistics. Back in the day, the top three killers (not including the Devil) were: 1. Heart Disease 2. Cancer 3. Healthcare system (We spent about 40 billion or so on healthcare)
Contemporary killers: 1. Heathcare system 2. Heart Disease 3. Cancer (We spend in the range of 160 billion, or something on healthcare.)
It's recorded that whenever doctors strike, the death rate actually goes down. The cause of 40% of sickly people who check into hospitals is medical malpractice. An estimated 75% of the time doctors hand-out prescriptions when they're not wholly aware of a patients problem. A prominent Harvard Scientist (names are of no relevance!) suggested that medicine should probably only be distributed 15-20% of the time doctors are actually prescribing drugs.
Doctors hand out meds like a pagan on Halloween. And, yes, these apples are poisonous.
The government spends our money attempting to cure diseases that may never have cures. Instead, he suggests spending on practical issues that Canadians are dealing with now - I'm too tired to think of examples. And now I'm too tired to write anymore.
This is just one man's opinion, but he offered some interesting insight. Tomorrow, I'll start a revolution and take him down. He is threatening national security by dissing our government. He's broken the freedom act. I'll abolish him before he abolishes the act.