"Loney, Expletive Dears" - Bryan, after colliding with a parked vehicle.

On Friday I had a Chiropractic appointment in Stouville. Per usual, I drove there. There was a sweet spot available with my name on it. This spot was located on the side of the road outside of the Doc's office. I pulled into my spot adroitly, yet vigilantly because I'm a considerate person and would never desire to inconvenience another person or myself with an unnecessary collision. Actually, if we're honest with one another for a second, I'm not really the deft parker I proclaim to be; I actually suck, which is why I always proceed with caution. Anywhoers, I complete my parking and push the break...except it's not the break; I hit the accelerator! I ram the Toyota in front of me like a lion tackling a zebra. "Loney, expletive, dears!"
I try to remain calm, but who really may remain calm in a calamity! Tentatively, I exit my car and survey the damage on the Toyota's rear. It's not soooo bad. A scratch here and there, chipped paint, and maybe a small dent. I return to my car wondering what I should do. Obviously, I wasn't going to flee the crime scene and have a warrant come out for my arrest. I have no interest in becoming a jailbird. So I wait. A few minutes later, a man (of ethnicity, but not that that matters) exits a store and hops in his Toyota. I knock on his window and inform him of the accident. His survey of the damage is much more severe than mine. He acts melodramatic, "oh no! Me car... what do I do... that's thousands of dollar..." No waaay there's thousands of dollars in damages you daff. Clearly, this is a fallible person in need of some elucidation. But, of course I don't say too much. I write out my insurance/driver's license information and apologize for harming his automobile. He seems understanding and such.
It's now a few days after the crash and he's yet to file a claim. Hopefully he won't. If so, well, that's just not a favourable situation.
After this episode, I went to my appointment and returned to my mint car and drove home; sullen and dour, obviously. Also, I'm still unemployed, which is reason enough for brooding.